Wednesday, May 19, 2010

How to teach your children about morality in a positive and spiritual way

Many years ago, around the time when my oldest child was entering kindergarten. I attended a stake RS conference and was inspired by one of the classes. It was How to teach your children about morality (birds and the bees) in a positive and spiritual way. I kept the script and the how to do this information for years until I used them with almost all my children, I say almost because the last one is only 4. But I will also make him his own book and hopefully he will reread it like the other children have. I have had a pretty good relationship with each of my children during adolescents and I think this shared time together starting off their teenage years is one of the reasons why. We bonded.

The idea was to make the talk an event.
1. start with a fancy dinner.
2. make a book
3. talk and answer questions
4. give presents

dinner: Take the child to their first fancy dinner alone with mom and dad. You know- cloth napkins at dinner complete with appetizers and dessert. They should be made to feel special and grown up.

book: Make a book using a script and add personalized pictures. After dinner dad takes the other kids out (to the park, on a bike ride, any place not at the house. Even unplug the phone so there are no distractions.)Then mom sits down with the child and they go through the book together.

talk: there's a part in the book where it talks about sex. At that time you explain, answer any questions. I geared it to their understanding. Some had more questions and others hardly had any. It's a perfect time because you have set the stage for understanding and communication to happen.

: while your talking and explaining if there are any awkward pauses or uncomfortable moments have them open little wrapped presents. Who doesn't love unwrapping a gift and it lighten up an awkward moment. I had a basket filled with wrapped presents inside it. Things like nylons, shaving cream, razors, tampons, nail polish, lip gloss, deodorant...the list is endless.

Here is Heathers book. I propped it up in front of my Mothers Day flowers.

A few pages from the book. There's 20 in all. Not sure you can read them because they're in page protectors but you get the idea.

For us it was a way to bring up a difficult subject in a very spiritual way. They all felt important and special which is how I wanted them to feel. They came away from that experience with knowledge, with our love for them and with the realization that marriage and motherhood/fatherhood is very special and worth waiting for.

* I certainly don't claim this to be a cure all, won't have any problems guarantee (evil influences are all around us) but it is a proactive step in the right direction. I did it because I felt inspired to. I didn't think about the time it would take to put it together. (because it does take time) I just knew it was the right way to present it for them and for me.


Momza said...

So thoughtful and could not be a wonderful way to teach your children?
Really great ideas! Thanks for sharing them!

Momza said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Garden of Egan said...

That is a great idea. Where were you when I needed you 20+ years ago???
Such a great way to teach it. I'm sending this post to my married kids.

GRAMEE said...

I would have loved this Idea when i had kids that age.. !!
I am going to pass this on to my daughter in law..

PeaceLoveLauren said...

so awkward! but, helpful. i liked getting that box of tampons wrapped in a bow!

Saimi said...

Oh my gosh you are amazing! I love that idea and agree with the Garden of Egan, where where you 20 years ago!

Joy For Your Journey said...

I love the book idea. And I especially like that you have pictures of the temple and the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane in the book. What a great way to teach your kids.

Cherie said...

I think this is a wonderful way to have that discussion with your children. It is never easy but you don't want them to find it all out from friends.

Lesa said...

I have never heard of this idea but I think it is great! Like others, I wished I would have had it years ago.

Thanks for sharing.

Lara said...

What a great idea. I love making it into a special event. I also love the gift idea for taking the embarrassment out of purchasing some of those items.

Loralee and the gang... said...

Great idea! And you mentioned making them a book using a script. Do you have a script for that?

Lisa said...

Yes I do have a script. One for girls and another for boys. I have it somewhere just need to find it. Would you like a copy?

Gigi said...

I just found your blog and love this post! We have an 8-year-old son we would like to talk with soon. Were you able to find the script for your book and will you please share it with me? Thank you for the wonderful, and spiritual idea!